We have all been agog this week with the events that have transpired at the Wood’s mansion in Florida. The web has been busy with updates and playbacks of the sorry situation that yet another sad man has gotten himself into. What was he thinking? we have all been asking each other as we analyze his predicament. I hear the men are laughing over at TSN. And if they are playing true to type, the late night laugh masters are making hay with Tiger’s humiliations.
Perhaps we can commiserate with his wife, surely an innocent in all this – although some would say that in marriage there is no innocence – but to have her husband’s dalliances with cocktail waitresses,a so-called publicist (just whose career is being promoted? wink, wink) and only who knows how many others, bandied about in bars and boardrooms, around water coolers and even the dinner table is not what a wife wants to have to bear. Even the best wife. No one, really, wants to be that martyr.
A conversation starter it surely has been. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not talking about it, it may be because there’s some danger there. Who wants to open that can of worms? you might be thinking. These events provide us with an opportunity to reflect on our behaviours as a culture, for Tiger is not alone. Let’s see, how many prominent men have subjected their families to public comment because of their wanton ways? Eliot Spitzer, David Letterman, Mark Sanford, John Edwards….
What I have found interesting in this story is not the indiscretion of a young man too rich for his britches and full of his place in the world. It is that even with his famous face and busy life, there were at least three women who seemed to have no problem in having an affair with a married man. And that number has grown in the days since to nine. If this isn’t an issue for the sisterhood, I don’t know what is.
I’m all for privacy in the bedroom. Quite frankly, it’s none of our business who Tiger Woods gets into bed with nor what he does when he gets there. However, the salacious nature of sexual scandal seduces us; like the pull of a magnet, and our attention gets drawn into the details and we can’t look away.
What I see is a sorry state in the sisterhood. Or shall we say, the vixenhood.
I suppose women have been cheating with other women’s men for thousands of years. Nothing new here.
And I suppose that the women’s movement has fought for the same rights that men have enjoyed on the grounds of equality and have advocated for women to have the freedom to live their lives fully; to take advantage of all of life’s wonderful opportunities. But does that include another woman’s man?
The women’s movement, from its beginning, has been busy trying to find ways to get women to live with respect either independently or with a partner, or partners, for who is to judge another, really? But honesty is the mark of an equal relationship and we should demand that be the case with our partners. We don’t have to accept behaviour that demeans our role in the family, for in family is where women find their faith, no matter what the mater.
But this isn’t about Tiger, this is about women who should know better.
It’s not like it’s a secret rule, it’s two of the commandments. Two. The one about adultery and the one about your neighbour’s wife, or husband in this case. Good thing we don’t stone people for such behaviour in our culture. Instead, we give them millions of dollars for their story; they hire publicists to capitalize on their fame, and then wipe their mouths and say they’ve done no wrong, as a friend of mine likes to say.
The women’s’ movement has fought for women so that they don’t have to be dependent on any man. It’s nice to have one around, they’re fun to play with, intelligent to talk to, and have those big strong muscles that the Y chromosome gives them.
But really, sisters, there’s lots out there, go get your own.